Published November 25, 2008
You lead me through the hollow,
pointing out the pine needles that
snap beneath your shoes;
the warm sunlight of the afternoon,
and the whisper of a red-tailed hawk in flight.
I see the trails of thought you took,
leaving behind a maze for me to explore.
As I read your words I know your mind
and what your eyes think of autumn.
--Anna
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141,261 Literary Works • 674,331 Reviews
I really liked this poem. I thought it was interesting and it soothed my mind in a way. Im not totally sure if I understand it, but i like it.
My favorite part was this one:
"pointing out the pine needles that
snap beneath your shoes; "
I just thought that was really neat. It reminded me of this place i go in the summer, where the only thing around is pine trees.
I really liked!
Keep writing!
I'm not sure I get it, but I like it. It was short and beautifully worded. The only nit-pick I have is that semi-colon. I don't think it's grammatically correct and it gets on my nerves. I'd check and see if it is. If it's not, replace it with a comma. If it is, I stand corrected. Generally, I avoid punctuation marks I don't know much about (like semi-colons).
Another tiny thing: two of your lines seem long in comparison to your others, which makes the flow weird. Perhaps you could re-word them?
Aside from that, though, it was lovely. Short and sweet with some good imagery. Keep writing!